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The last two weeks have reinforced my feeling that I could never live somewhere that it snows heavily and frequently. Spring has arrived along with warm temperatures that invite you to play outside. Have I written how much Allison likes to be outside? well she does and I feel like she's a nicer and less grumpy/moody kid now. So thank you mother nature for helping my family be happier :)

Here is just one shot from a night out at Bridgestreet.

Oops, I’m behind on blogging about her birthday. It was a really fun weekend. The Machamers all came over (minus brother Jim :( but added uncle Dave. And then I invited 2 couple friends with kids Allison’s age. So we had Allison, Alice and Amelia. It was just the right number of people. The weather was nice so we got to play in the backyard for a bit and then moved inside for food and presents. We had been singing the ‘happy birthday’ song with Allison for a few days and when we all were around the table singing she just had the cutest smirk on her face like she knew it was all for her and only her.

On days like today I'm wondering how I ever survived those first few months after having Allison and never sleeping more than 3 hours in a stretch. For the last couple weeks Allison has not been sleeping well. After flying back from Texas she kept a low fever for a few days and we figure it was her 2 year molar teeth. we were giving her ibuprofen before bed and she'd sleep till about 3am. the last 3 nights she's only slept till midnight. The best way to get her to stay back asleep is for me to sleep on the floor next to her. ugh! And if I didn't say it before, 90% of the time only I can get her to sleep or back to sleep. I so wish Jeff could take some of that off my shoulders but she'll just scream for mommy.

I've been reading up on sleep issues with toddlers and the proper way to set up a bedtime routine, etc. I admit before our routine was to read books in my lap then cuddle till she was asleep or almost asleep and then I move her to her bed. That's bad because when she wakes up she needs me - the feel of me or rocking or back patting or something to soothe back down to fall asleep. I need to let her learn to settle down on her own. So I'm willing to work on that for the bedtime routine. Last night I laid her down awake, lights on, walked over turned the lights out and just sat down in the middle of her room. No trouble. The night before was at least 30 minutes of trouble putting her back to bed again and again, no eye contact, very limited words, etc. I guess it just depends on how worn out she is.

But what the hell do I do at midnight or 3 am when she gets up? I have no energy to battle it out with her on who can last the longest. First off from experience in the last couple weeks I will loose the battle, I'll loose my nerves, I'll slam doors and throw down blankets and if it gets so bad then I just walk away and leave her screaming and Jeff gets her for a few minutes while I calm down (sort of) in another room. That is what happens when I'm sleep deprived. I lose my sh*t. I admit it. I wish I could have the patience my husband does and I try, and can be pretty good at it during the day but not at 3am when I haven't had 6 hours of sleep in a week. I'm almost in tears as I write this. Why the hell do I let a 2 year old get me so worked up? Then I get pissed that I am so emotional about it. It's a stupid cycle of crazy female hormones that I wish a man could experience just for a damn day.

So I'm about to spend $15 on a book or 2 that I have no idea when I'll have time to read. Because the only advice are giving me is to put her in bed with us. That doesn't work, we've tried. What I really want to do is spend a couple hundred bucks and run away for a few nights so Allison will have to get used to her daddy putting her to bed at night.

A change of topic to a happier note. Allison talks all the time. We understand alot of it, especially if we're in sight of her and see what she's sees or points at. It's exciting to see her vocabulary grow or when she throws out a word you don't remember teaching her. The latest really cute word is 'help' or as she says it 'haalp'. We're still working on sizes for big and small instead of everything small being a baby and a bigger version of it being a mom or dad.

We are so failing at figuring out how to deal with toddler tantrums. I feel like it’s becoming obvious that we have no experience being around kids and I really need to get out and hang out with other mommies and their kids to see someone else experience a similar situation. Here is a snipit of an email I sent to a friend – this is soon after while I was still in an emotional state and eyes still stinging from earlier tears.

started out good, we left the gate open last night, she slept all night and came into our room at 5:17am. then I got in the shower and I guess Jeff let her go straight to the tv (like I’m sure she probably demanded). I come out around 5:45, tv show ends and I say get breakfast. she says ok to cheerios. we make the bowl, bring it to the table and she won’t get in her chair, won’t eat the cheerios - would have thrown them if we let her. crying starts, then somewhere shes in her chair and says 'new cheerios'. Jeff was ready to get her new ones, takes the bowl back around the counter and more screaming. ‘No’ to new ones and ‘No’ to existing ones. so that led to about 15 minutes of her sitting in her chair refusing breakfast. Jeff was offering her other stuff, and I was trying to battle her and say no, these are made, it's these or nothing. he goes to take a shower, I force her out of her seat and take her in her room to get dressed. more crying. I tried singing about it, 2 clothes options, whatever. just screaming. about 6:30 jeff comes out, we get some underwear and pants on her and she's pulling them off. by 6:50 we had forced her into clothes and a coat, I never let go of her afraid she'd pull her clothes off, and I got her in a car seat. then I went back in the house and cried and put makeup on again.

So we’ll get through this weekend of having a bunch of company and a party and then try a new routine for Monday. I even borrowed and idea from another site and printed out some picture cards for it. Sunshine, potty, dressed, breakfast, teeth. And if all that is done before 6:40 then she can watch tv. but preferably no tv at all in the mornings. I wonder if I can just put a sheet over the tv, or if that would be like playing hide and seek with it and get her excited about it.
And Jeff had a good suggestion that we make breakfast on the table in front of her. so she'll be belted in, with an empty bowl in front and just bring the milk and box to the table. And maybe we'll be brave enough to let her hold the box or pour milk.

After all this (tantrums, tears and snipping at my husband over parenting techniques, etc) effecting my mood for the first few hours this morning, I get to work and read about the huge earthquake and tsunami in Japan and try to go back to thinking how truly lucky and blessed I am to have everyone and everything I have.

Next up, to pull some pictures from a very fun and happy weekend in Texas recently….