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Life is back to busy so I don't get to blog as often. Jeff and I have not watched TV for an entire week. Seems like that was half our life pre-baby. I had someone ask me what we do when we get home and I laughed. Most of it is consumed with Allison. Since I only see her awake a few hours a day during week, I'd like to spend it with her. The other part is taken up with washing bottles and laundry. After she goes to bed we usually get on the computer.

I'm very thankful that a few things have fallen into place at the right time. Allison is still sleeping through the night which makes working an 8-9 hour day possible. I also am able to fit into most of my workout clothes which times out good with my company paying for a gym membership. Now, I'm still having trouble finding an extra hour in the day to workout. I think that will be easier in a few months when I'm not breastfeeding anymore. In more ways than ever, my life is revolving around how big my boobs are. .... for instance, I think I'll get on the treadmill first thing on the morning, nope boobs hurt, so I get in the shower and ack, they're dripping everywhere. Or I get to work and the boss springs a 3 hour meeting and I think crap, when do I have to pump. ...stuff like that makes it hard, but I also hate making and washing bottles. I'm sure it'll always be something now that this little person comes first but thats ok :)

In other news both Jeff and I have the new Iphone. This should hopefully help me since I now fit into that category of who I considered crazy people who had to be able to be reached at all possible times. For example, yesterday (when I didn't have my new Iphone) I left my phone in the car and went into the gym. Jeff was going to pick up Allison from daycare. I get out to the car and there is a message that he's changing a flat tire. he was still able to get her in time (before the late fees started) but that wont have to happen again since I'll be using my phone as an mp3 player from now on :) It's still going to be a while before it's a habit to always have the phone on me - in meetings or in earshot in the car or a store but I'll get there.

I forgot to mention how talkative Allison is lately. Last weekend we tried hard to get her to say dada for fathers day but it hasn't happened yet. I'll record some of her babbles and then play with the Iphone this weekend and see just how easy it is to load videos to Utube.

It's almost time for me to walk out in the is smoldering 98 degrees to go home. Whatever happened to the nice but hot 85 degree weather?

We had a busy but fun weekend. Saturday afternoon I had a stampin up thing where I made some greeting cards. I'm not usually into that kind of thing but I learned that this lady has classes where you just pay one fee and she has all the materials and you spend half a day for a project such as Christmas cards. So I may consider a few of those a year instead of spending money to own all the materials. I know I would never spend that time in my own house doing it.
Saturday night some friends had a bbq that Jeff and Allison went to. She ofcourse saved her blowout for an outing. I came after the stampin thing but it was 8pm and I was pretty wiped out, so I didn't stay long.

Sunday we went to Sears for some photos. I've been looking up some photographers that specialize in babies but the prices are crazy and they ofcourse won't sell you the digital images. So I figured since she's still working on the head control and not exactly smiling on cue, we'd try sears. It wasn't a great experience - hot room, busy place with just one person working, hardly any props, and we just seemed rush. Allison was pretty good, but I still stressed out. So for all that work and $150 we only got 14 images. I think I'll just be shelling out the money for her 6 months pics and try a photography studio.

For Fathers Day I got Jeff lawn service for a month. Came at a good time since we've been in the 90s for a while now. The Friday before Fathers Day, Allison came home with her first piece of art. It was her footprints with a poem for fathers day. I laughed at how they start so early. I bought some posterboard to fold over and create a big folder for all her art projects to save. My mom saved mine from elementary school and it was kinda neat to look back on. If anyone has suggestions for how or what to store that kind of stuff in, I'd like some ideas.

and she made it till 4:50 before waking me. Yippee! I got her home about 4:15, she ate at 5pm slept, woke up to let us know about a dirty diaper and slept again. woke up about 7:30 and we had about 30 minutes of play time in before she ate again and slept from 8:20 to 4:50. I hope this isn't fluke thing.

On other news my dad is in the hospital with a blood clot in his leg. Sounds kinda scary but I was told I didn't need to fly down there right now. I hope the doctors in that small town know what they are doing and can dissolve it.

Allison is 3 months old today and life is definitely different than it was when she was 1 month old. We've got the beginning of a routine started. I get up a little before 6am and shower first while Jeff wakes her up enough to eat. Then I throw on my robe, pull back wet hair and feed her while Jeff showers. Then he'll take her to daycare about 7am while I finish getting ready for work. I'm still able to get to work about 7:45 or 8am most days. So far I haven't taken a full lunch break so I try to leave a little after 4 to pick her up. They feed her 3 bottles in dc but she must know I have more food b/c she's usually screaming in the car and in the house till she eats. some days she's still a little fussy in the evenings, but it's not too bad. Allison typically sleeps from 8 am to 3 am and then I feed her. She usually falls back asleep -me, not so much. I lay there hungry! If I do eat something before going back to bed it wakes me up more. I'm open to ideas on how to resolve that :) There is a downside to her sleeping through most of the night. My period started. I feel like calling my doctor and saying YOU LIED.

I'm still breastfeeding and pumping at work. Thank goodness I have an office to myself right now, so I just shut the door and close the blinds. The hardest part is trying to time my day around pumping. I have to attend a few meetings a week and sometimes they are in other buildings. I also signed up for an all day photoshop training seminar in Nashville and I'm thinking it's going to suck trying to find a place to pump in that convention center or go out to a hot car in June. This is starting to take some serious dedication. But I really wanted to keep bf'ing for the first part of her transition into daycare.

(now this is written on Sunday night)
Jeff's parents came up Friday night so we could go to a friends wedding. We we all surprised at how much Allison slept this weekend. I think the full week in daycare really wiped her out. One time this morning, I put Allison in the bouncy seat and she was out asleep in minutes and her Mimi (grandma) was sitting next to her just staring with this disappointed look on her face, so sad she was back asleep and not playful. I was just happy she was still a happy calm baby all weekend.

Here's a pic of bathtime Friday night. She looks like she's in distress, but she' pretty good for baths :)

So I've gotten some response back on that last blog entry - very nice and supportive words. One of the reasons I felt I had to get those words out is b/c everything you see on tv or in advertising just paints a perfect picture of life with new baby where mom has this pre-planted supercharged bond that keeps a happy loving smile on her face nonstop. Those advertisements need to come with subtext that says the baby is 3 or 6 months old and mom has finally slept 7 hours in a row.
Now that more of the 'life is really good' feelings are occurring on a daily basis I'm forgetting the bad and hard stuff. My memory already sucks, so I wanted to make sure I had something to remind me of the real truth :)

while reading this keep in mind it's coming from the mouth of a woman that hasn't been around babies much in her life....

I brought home a tiny baby from the hospital (never thought I'd have a baby that small). Even a couple days in the hospital it really didn't sink in what we produced. I wasn't one of those moms that formed an attachment right away, but there was a point when I got back from the hospital nursery I realized I had missed her. She looked so small and fragile, the thought of caring for her was a little frightening. Luckily I remembered my sister's words - you can't hurt them unless you drop them :) Those words ran through my head every time I had to get clothes on her and contort her arms to move in ways I didn't think they should. The first couple weeks went by in a sleepless, painful blur of mostly crying fits while breastfeeding. After a couple weeks all the family left, Jeff was at work, friends weren't visiting too often and it was just me and her, and she was still just eating and sleeping. It began to hit me - what am I supposed to do with her all day?! We weren't on a schedule by any means and the thought of taking her out in public and her screaming was very intimidating. How could I be completely intimidated by something that weighed 7 pounds! So my only ventures out were to the grocery store or Target.
A couple days before she turned 4 weeks old, we gave her a bottle. Yes - we did not have any problems there. I thought this meant freedom for me to use both bottle and breast. Nope, I found out what engorgement was. I didn't see the point of having Jeff get up in the middle of the night if I was just going to have to get up to use the breast pump. Several nights when she was eating every 2 hours, he'd give her the first bottle, but then I'd be up at 2 and 4 am at least. I don't think we took her out to eat with us though till she was maybe 8 weeks old. (yeah for quick mexican restaurants). I'd say I didn't feel like I could recognize any kind of schedule with her till she was at least 7 weeks old. that meant for long boring frustrating days at home.
I think mother nature timed things out right, because about the point where she was taking longer naps during the day and night, allowing me to get sleep and not be as cranky, is when Allison also started smiling at as and making a few cute baby sounds. So I think sleep plus smiles are what really sealed the bond between us. Some delay there could have also been my emotional rollercoaster on a daily basis. I probably just made myself out to sound like a horrible mom for admitting that connection took weeks for me to feel but it makes a difference when that little person can respond back to you in a pleasant way. Now I look forward to the time I get to feed her because I have her all to myself.
I knew the first time baby process was going to be hard, but yeah, you don't really know till it happens. Allison is such a good baby, we really did luck out. I would have had a institutional-worthy breakdown if she was colicky or unhealthy. Then again I never thought I'd survive natural childbirth and I did.

trying to steal a few minutes on a lunch break to blog...

Daycare said Allison did great and was a happy baby. They got her to eat every 3-3.5 hours which is nice. She fell asleep in the car seat on the way home and when she woke up at home she went into full scream mode. I have no idea why, maybe she likes daycare better, maybe she already forgot who I was, who knows. I had to feed her to calm down though, and then she stayed a bit fussy for a while. She's staying alert longer though. Since my back is still bothering me, I can't walk her around too long, so we sat her in the bumbo seat in her crib and turned on her mobile and other rainforest musical and she seemed perfectly content to look at those 2 back and forth.
My only guess on the back thing is that its a breastfeeding issue. I weigh alot less than when I was pregnant and my back didn't hurt this bad. So maybe it's my huge boobs or me just looking down at them while keeping her on. It's becoming a problem though when I get home and don't have time to lay down in between all the bottle washing and playing with Allison.
The last few nights she's only eaten about 3 am. That's nice for me except I need to find a way to fall back asleep faster. At least she's a happy baby in the morning. She really does smile and coo alot, which is good to lesson my crankiness. haha.

back to cleaning out hundreds of work emails after being gone so long...